Due: Monday, March 4, 2013; 10am CST
1. What kinds of listening response do you look for in your
friends when you are asking for their help with a problem?
2. What strategies do you utilize when a friend or family member comes to you with a problem?
2. What strategies do you utilize when a friend or family member comes to you with a problem?
I typically look at their nonverbal expressions; usually this will show me what they are really thinking. A friend my say something that shows that they care about what your problem is, but if they are not sincere in their nonverbal expressions you may be able to snub out their pity, and realize that they probably do not care about what you're saying. I believe it is important to analyze the person you are talking about the problem with before you ask them; timing in these situations are essential. Take this for example (even though on the extreme side), Your friend just found out his father has cancer, and you just failed a math quiz, due to the severity of his situation it probably wouldn't be appropriate timing to bring up your math problem.
ReplyDeleteI usually take pride that they would come to me with a problem. Sometimes people want advice and other times people just want to be able to vent. I think that is it important to assess the friend or family members needs or wants from confronting you. Although you may get something from them coming to you, ultimately the confronter is the one you should be concerned about. However, I typically try not to "feel sorry" for the person; personally I hate pity, and I think that it doesn't help any situation, I do think it is important to empathize though. This shows you are feeling what they feel, and then can understand their situation better. In the whatever you do it is important to be understanding and sensitive to the situation; put yourself in their shoes, they had the confidence to ask you for advice or hope that you would listen to them so show respect.
1. When asking friends for help with a problem, I look at their listening responses. Often times I will look to see if they are making eye contact with me, nodding while I am talking, paying attention to what I am saying, reacting in the appropriate way depending on what information I share with them, and offering advice when I ask for it. I want to see that my friend is staying attentive while I talk. You want them to be paying attention to the situation and do not want their minds to be wandering off. These things listed are what I believe to be characteristics of a good listener. I prefer to seek out help/advice from a friend who is a good listener in comparison to one who does not seem to be focused on what I have to say. It is also important to pay attention to nonverbals such as their facial expression, tone of voice, and gestures.
ReplyDelete2. When a friend or family member comes to me with a problem, I use different components depending on the situation. I always try to listen attentively to the other person. I try to focus on them and their current situation. I usually try to let them finish explaining the issue to me fully before I offer my advice. I also try to be understanding. Because I am not in that person's current situation, I can not fully understand what they are going through or how they feel. This is why it is good to be kind and understanding of the situation. I also try to remember whatever information that the person is telling me. If I am not truly listening to what they are saying, I will not be able to remember our conversation. If the person asks me for further advice later on and I do not remember what they previously told me, it will seem as though I did not listen or care about what they were saying.
1. When I go to a friend to ask about a problem, I look to see if they are engaged in what I'm saying and are interested and paying attention. I try to see if they are understanding, or at least trying to be understanding and see where I'm coming from. I pay attention to their nonverbal communication when I ask for an answer or an opinion to see if they are the same, or if they don't really mean what they're saying. I usually can tell how they're really feeling by their body language and tone of voice.
ReplyDelete2. When family or friends come to me for advice, I work on being a mindful listener and try to be as supportive as I can. I don't interrupt them and I let them get everything off their chest before I offer any help. I try to put myself in their position and understand where they're coming from with how their feeling about their problem. It's very hard to truly do this, but I really try to understand because I would want them to do the same for me.
Most of the time I look for nonverbal cues to see if someone is listening and an occasional verbal response. I look to see if they are looking at me and if their expression is an appropriate one, such as concern or thoughtfulness. I also listen for a “mhm” or “I understand” to know that they are taking me seriously and want to help.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone comes to me with a problem, I do my best to have an open mind and listen to everything they have to say without judgment. I attempt to put myself in their shoes and understand what they are feeling and where they are coming from. I try to show them I care by showing concern, or another appropriate emotion, and do my best to come up with thoughtful solutions or advice. I also make sure they know that they can always come to me with a problem and I will do my best to help them.
1. When I ask my friends for help with a problem, I look for eye-contact to make sure that they are really listening and not zoning out. I also look for nonverbal cues such as facial expressions that go along with what I am saying. For example if I tell them something surprising, I would expect them to make a surprised facial expression with a widening of eyes.
ReplyDelete2. When a friend or family member comes to me with a problem, I usually try to first make sure I understand the problem and get their perspective on it. From there it really just depends on what the problem is on how I try to approach it. But no matter what the problem is, I usually try to first console them and make sure that they are not stressing over the problem at hand too much. Then I try to help them as much as I possibly can.
1. As I look for help from a friend, I expect many listening responses such as facial responses and eye contact. Dependent on my type of request, I would expect several different reactions. I believe that individuals give off their feelings without even saying a word. For example, I was a model for many years, and my agent would always tell me that a face could tell a story.
ReplyDelete2. When a friend or family member comes to me in search of help, I like to most definitely keep eye contact. I believe even in a meaningless conversation, if eye contact is lacking, it is a sign of disrespect. Also, I believe to show compassion in my voice instantaneously creates a comfort zone for those in need of help.
1. When I ask for a friend's help, I look for nonverbal expressions or hindrances in their voice. When looking at nonverbal expressions, it shows the true meaning behind someone's answer. For example, I ask my friend if he could help me the other day. He had hesitated when saying yes. That told me he did really want to. But he also rolled his eyes when he said yes so he did not want to at all.
ReplyDelete2. When a friend or family member come to me for help, I try to listen to the tone of their voice to see what kind of emotion is they may have. I try to ask them what is wrong and comfort them with my tone to show them that I care about what is wrong and they can trust me with what they have to say.
1) When I come to my friends with a problem, I look for eye contact to make sure they are not distracted. I also listen for feedback to make sure that they understand what the issue is. Normally, my friends will nod their head when they agree with me or use the words "yeah" or "uh huh". I also tend to look at their body language to see if they seem interested or not. Thankfully, my friends are usually upfront when I come to them with a problem and help me through it right away.
ReplyDelete2) When a friend or family member comes to me with a problem, I like to give them eye contact and show them that I am interested by my body language. I stand up straight and give them an ear to talk to. I also shake my head when I agree to make them aware that I am listening to what they are saying.
1) I look for eye contact to know that they are paying attention and not on their cell phone or focusing on something else. Also their eye contact and or body language can give me an idea if they are interested or not I also look for a nod once and a while or for them so say yeah, so I know that they understand what my problem is.
ReplyDelete2)When a friend or family comes to me with a problem I give them all my attention and give them eye contact to show them that I care and am willing to help if I can. I usually sit straight up when they tell me to show that I am ready to listen and help them solve their problem. I also provide an occasional nod and a "yeah" when I'm understanding them. I've been told that I have a specific face when I don't agree with or understand what they are saying. Apparently it is a combo of something with my eyes and eye brows and my mouth.
1. When I ask a friend for help with a problem, I notice both nonverbal and verbal cues. For example, if I'm asking my roommate for help with an assignment, I will explain the issue. If she is looking away, staring blankly, or not speaking, I will take that as her being uninterested. If she is nodding, has some sort of expression that shows she is engaged, and is saying "okay," as I explain, I will understand that as her paying attention. Sometimes you notice people looking at their phones and laughing while you're speaking, depicting that they are not fully engaged in the conversation, while other times their level of care is noticeable.
ReplyDelete2. If someone comes to me with a problem, the first thing to do is listen. I allow others to "vent." Especially if the issue is causing irritability, the first thing someone wants to do is let it all out and speak their mind. After listening to what the problem is, I ask a few questions for two reasons. One, because in order to give the best possible advice I need to know the facts. Two, because it shows that I care and am engaged in the topic. For example, a friend once came to me and asked me if she should be mad at her boyfriend for going to a dance club. I asked questions like: Do you trust him? Will he dance with other girls? Do you think that will lead to other things? After hearing her responses, I gave her my personal advice. These are some of the strategies I use to give advice to friends.
1. What kinds of listening response do you look for in your friends when you are asking for their help with a problem?
ReplyDeleteWhen I ask my friends for advice with a problem I am having, I make sure they are being attentive by looking at their nonverbal cues. An example of this is eye contact. If they are looking around and not paying much attention to what I am saying, I know that they are not interested in what I am saying or focused on another matter altogether. The most important cue I look for is eye contact. As long as my friend is attentive, any advice they give me will be helpful.
2. What strategies do you utilize when a friend or family member comes to you with a problem?
Even though I do not I believe I give the best advice, I always enjoy helping those that I can by giving my support. The tactic I use when I am talking to someone I care for that has a problem is to be both supportive and attentive. I think that showing an interest in their problems gives the person a confidence boost and shows that they are not alone. The best way to do this is to focus on the speaker and ask questions. My aunt came to me a few years ago to talk to my younger cousin about a bullying problem he was having. My cousin and I sat down and he told me that some kids were calling him names because he was big. I immediately told him it took a lot of courage just to talk about it and offered him solutions to end the bullying until he chose to tell the teacher. I think my support gave him the confidence to tell the teacher and ultimately end his problem.
1.The kinds of listening responses I look for in friends when I am asking for their help with a problem is the amount of thought they give to the problem and how fast they come up with answers. I also look for a sincere look of interest in their facial expressions to prove that they are actually trying to understand the situation at hand and what must be done to resolve the issue. For example, a person with more eye contact in their facial expressions and more time between responses shows me that they are truly trying to help me figure things out, rather than rush through with disinterest.
ReplyDelete2.When a friend or family member comes to me with a problem, I try to display empathy. By truly taking their perspective on the situation, it allows for more room to fully understand their side and support them. I try to let them take their time to completely speak what’s on their mind and first let them describe how they would go about solving the problem to get a taste of what their approach would be. I then intervene by putting these listening skills to work by stating my opinion of what should be done in regards to the issue. For example, when my best friend came to me with how to handle a devastating breakup, I took on her role and told her what I would do if I were in her shoes. I made sure my tone of voice was very understanding and that she felt supported by my honesty.
1.) When I go to a friend for help, I look to see if they are paying full attention to or are somewhat interested in what I am saying. This means that they are looking at my face/eyes, not texting or looking around the room with a bored look on their face. If they show that they are interested in what I am saying or at least paying attention, it shows that they care about me and that alone helps me.
ReplyDelete2.)The first thing I do when a friend, family member, or just anyone comes to me with a problem is to listen to what they have to say completely. I wait for them to be finished, unless I pick up on subtle hints telling me that the person wants or is expecting a response from me. I always try to keep an open mind when someone comes to me with problems. After the person is done speaking I try to help them through it and try to go through the problem and give the person ways to solve it or try to help them think of ways to solve it themselves. For example, if two of my friends were fighting and they both came to me, I would listen to what both had to say and than go through the pros and cons of them being friends and of the situation that happened. By doing this I hopefully would help them make a decision themselves instead of me making the decision for them.
1) If I were to go to a friend with a problem, I check to make sure they are paying attention completely and not doing something else. I would like them to be giving me their full attention which means that they're looking at me, and actively listening or at least showing some interest in what I'm talking about.
ReplyDelete2) When a family member or friend comes to me with a problem, I want to give them my full attention. I don't play on my phone, watch TV, or talk with someone else. I make sure I'm looking at them, and wait until they are finished saying something until I begin talking. Without listening to the problem fully with your undivided attention, it is hard to give accurate and good advice.
1) If in fact I do need to go to a friend with a problem, I do hope that they will fully listen and comprehend. I expect them to not only just retain the information but to process it and to relay their own thoughts and opinions. Anyone can simply retain the information, but it takes a certain friend to be able to consol you and to fully give you their opinion and take on almost any situation.
ReplyDelete2) I do feel honored when most of my friends come to me with their problems. Not only does it say that they respect me enough to reveal their lives to me, but it also gives me an opportunity to learn from a friends situation. I normally try to give my best insight and almost always give them the truth, I feel as if that is the most important, sometimes it is difficult to tell your friend the truth, but it will help them out the most.