Due Date: Monday, April 8, 2013; 10am CST
2. When you criticize someone, what is the process that you will go about bringing your issue up with someone? Do you call people out like you see it, or do you try to constructively criticize someone in a positive way?
1) For me, my relationship with my parents has always had a positive communication climate. We have always felt comfortable around each other and I know that I can always go to them if I have a problem. Although we get into fights like other parents and kids do, I know it is because they want what's best for me and is they know what is in my best interest at the point. My parents have made my home environment a supportive, encouraging, learning and loving one that every child should have. I am lucky and fortunate enough to be able to live in such a caring home.
ReplyDelete2) If I feel the need to criticize someone, I try to make it a private meeting between myself and the person that I have an issue with. It's not my place it call someone out and embarrass them because I would not appreciate if someone did that to me. I want to be honest, but I don't want to be harsh. I often offer alternatives so they can fix the issue without being too cruel or even mean. Criticizing someone in a negative way will never have a positive effect in the long run. They may continue to do the action in spite of you. If you use the positive route, they may be more willing to change or alter their behavior.
1. The relationship I have with my sister, Amber has always had a positive communication climate. We are very comfortable with one another. We share every detail about our lives with each other, and talk daily. She is always on my side and is always there when I need her. She also gives me great advice and always looks out for me.
ReplyDelete2. As much as I would like to say that I criticize people in a private, nice manner, it doesn't always happen that way. I find that it mostly happens whenever I feel like they are doing something that I don't approve of. It may not be the correct way to do it, but I have always been the type who was not afraid of confrontation. I generally will just say what I think or feel whenever I feel the need to say it. Even though I tend to call people out, there is a time for constructive criticism, like in a classroom when trading papers. It is different when I give constructive criticism, even though I may be on the harsher end of the spectrum, I deliver constructive criticism much nicer. I feel as if someone is asking you to criticize them when you give constructive criticism, and you do not want to hurt them, but instead help them to make what they are doing better.
1. My relationship with my mom has a positive communication climate, because I can talk to her about anything and always be completely honest, whether I am sharing good or bad information with her. She is a very non-judgmental person and has a lot of faith in me, so I think this makes it easier to always tell her what is on my mind and be completely honest with her.
ReplyDelete2. When I criticize someone, I usually try to bring it up in the nicest way possible and politely point out what they are doing that bothers me or bothers others as well. I also explain to them why it bothers me and suggest other ways to go about the situation. I generally try to constructively criticize someone in a positive way. However, I am human and there has been times were I have been past the point of annoyance and called someone out as I saw it, which I realized later was not the best way to handle the situation.
1.The relationship I have with my best friend, Katie, has a positive communication climate. We can be our crazy selves around one another and are always there for one another 100% of the time. Some examples of key concepts from this chapter that illustrate our relationship are empathy and equality. In our relationship, we convey empathy by listening nonjudgmentally to one another and by offering support constantly when one of us encounters a problem in a certain situation. This mutual understanding we share is at the heart of why we are so close, almost like sisters. We portray equality by always leveling the playing field, rather than by comparing ourselves in certain aspects to determine who is better. By both of us choosing not to be superior in regards to our talents/abilities, this allows for little comparison or negativity, thus creating a positive communication climate.
ReplyDelete2.When I criticize someone, I try to constructively criticize someone in a positive way, rather than by calling people out like I see it. First, I usually try to determine a good time where I can be alone to discuss the issue with the person. By doing this, any embarrassment or hurt the person may feel for being ‘called out’ in public is reduced. Next, I try to talk with the person by mixing the negatives with the positives. For example, one time, I constructively criticized my parents. I made sure my sister wasn’t around, so that my parents felt comfortable. I began with a positive comment about how pleased I was with them allowing me to have my first car, about two years ago. The negative comment I addressed, or the issue of concern, was that I was afraid they weren’t granting me enough freedom; that I was being treated like a little kid. I then stated another positive comment about how responsible and punctual I am when it comes to being home on time. I told my parents I would like to discuss with them about extending my curfew from around 10:00pm to 12:30 am and that I hoped we could work something out. Since I was only 16 at the time, I found this argument to be fairly reasonable. My parents talked it over and approved of this request. They said that since I stated my concern with negatives and positives, it was easier to see my point of view and where I was coming from. They also said that by offering constructive criticism, I didn’t seem demanding or harsh, which is why they ended up extending my curfew.
The relationship I have with my parents usually has a negative communication climate because most of the time communication either doesn't happen at all between us or it is an argument. When we are arguing, usually it is "you're wrong and I'm right" without taking into account the other person's point of view or feelings. These aspects contribute to a negative communication climate and misunderstandings.
ReplyDeleteI usually try not to criticize people in a negative way, and when I do have something to criticize I try to find a time and place where we aren't with other people and when we both aren't frustrated and upset either with each other or something else. This way there are less outside factors affecting the outcome of the conversation. Then I try to be as honest as possible without being mean. I tell them what they are doing that bothers or upsets me and why I feel that way about it, instead of just saying that what they are doing is wrong. I also make sure to let them know that I can see where they are coming from and how they might feel about it. Then I try to end the conversation on a positive note and assure them that even though I don't like what they did, I still will be there for them and I still want to be their friend.
1. My relationship with my mother has a very positive communication climate. We both are there for each other when we need to talk about something, and work to be as empathetic as we can. We also treat each other as equals. For example, when my mom is having a problem with work, she comes to me for help, even though I've never had a job and dealt with the same problems. I also go to her with problems about school, and she was home schooled for high school, so she may not have gone through the same things I did, but we value each other's opinions so much that we feel comfortable going to each other about such problems.
ReplyDelete2. When I go about criticizing something, such as with my friends, I make sure I do it constructively and that I don't "call them out." I make sure I bring it up to them at a good time, which is when it's just me and them, and bring it up to them in the best and most sensitive way I can. I first tell them something they're doing really well, and then I bring up the issue. I suggest something they could do to help. I also only do this if I know they really need and aren't already trying to work out the problem themselves. If they know it's something they need to change, I don't want to bring it up again because this will just frustrate them.
1. My relationship with my mom has a positive communication climate. Communication climate refers to the social tone of the relationship. In a relationship, this can refer to how people feel about one another and treat one another. My mom has always made it clear to me that I can talk to her about anything. No one likes to talk about uncomfortable things, but sometimes these things just need to be discussed. I know that I can always count on my mom to be there for me when I need someone to talk to. She treats me with respect and I try to treat her the same way. We may not always agree with one another, but we know that it is important to listen to what the other person has to say and show them respect.
ReplyDelete2. If I criticize someone or something, I usually try to offer constructive criticism. I do not want to always call a person out on something that they did wrong. It is better to act in a more positive than negative manner. When offering criticism, it is important to check your motives, choose a good time, buffer negativeness with positiveness, and follow up. I feel like for the the most part, I always try to do these things when I offer criticism. Doing these things will better help the person to change the thing that they are doing wrong. If you simply call them out on their mistake, they may not know how to fix it.
1) Communication climate is the social tone of the relationship. My relationship with my grandpa, my mom's dad, has a negative communication climate. This is a negative communication because he isn't on good terms with me about some things that have recently been said about my mom and her sister. He knows that I don't like him so I try to avoid communication. When I do communicate with him I make it short. I'm not sure if it is clear to him why we have a negative communication climate, because he probably doesn't know that I'm aware of the situation and that is why the climate remains negative, because we don't work things out.
ReplyDelete2) When criticizing someone the process if different depending on my mood and my attitude toward the person. When I'm mad or just flat out don't like the person, I call them out about the way I see it and don't care if it is in a positive way at all. When I'm in a decent mood and like the person, I try to pull them aside and bring up the situation in a tone that isn't offensive, and tell them why I'm not a fan of the situation and suggest how we can work together to fix whatever is being criticized.
1. In one aspect of many others' lives and mine is the communication climate between exes. Though through my past relationships, the climate of when it ends is very negative. When my last girlfriend had broken up with me, we did not say anything for over month to each other when she did. The reason was that I did not feel that the relationship had ended on good terms and left me asking a lot of questions. But over time, the climate began to change. At a retreat, she approached me and we had talked why she broke up with me. Saying that it was her feeling the relationship could not go on and that had answered my questions. So now we are on talking terms and the climate is now a good one.
ReplyDelete2.I do not usually criticize anyone. But for the cases I do, I usually bring it to them as saying the criticism in the form of a joke. While someone is telling me a story, I laughingly tell them the criticism. But if it a serious story, I will them the criticism in a serious voice. I do not call people out of stuff but would help the person and constructively help them in a positive way. A person should be helped rather than them being bullied.
I would say that one relationship that has a positive climate would be with my father. Although when you are close to people there are bound to be disagreements. However, my father and I are able to communicate with each other very well. When my father and I talk we don't feel as if we have to hold back; we are able to speak our minds freely. Also my father and I have a relationship where I try to do many things in my life to make him proud, and he knows that and appreciates it. The love my father and I have allows us to have disagreements and then recover from our arguments easily, because of the fluent communication we have.
ReplyDeleteI believe that how you go about criticism is completely dependent on the relationship and how well you know the person. You most likely aren't going to tell someone you love that they are the dumbest person they have ever met if you don't want to hurt their feelings, unless that is the type of relationship you share. While on the other hand if you don't know someone well you could not be as worried about offending the person. In conjunction to this I believe that you depend on the subject you are speaking about. Like if you are talking to someone about a relative they just had pass away recently you are most likely going to be sympathetic and not cut down the relative that just passed away or something absurd like that.
1. One relationship in my life that has a positive climate is my best friend. We quarrel sometimes and have disagreements, like all friends, but we have the communication skills together to communicate in a healthy way. We listen to each other and express how we feel. If we are trying to resolve an issue, we use positive nonverbal communication skills as well. For example, I wouldn't be texting on my phone while she is speaking.
ReplyDelete2. I react positively and negatively sometimes to issues that I have. For example, if a friend does something that upsets me, I might respond in a negative way by saying, "Why would you do that?" Sometimes anger takes control of that. However, I know how to respond positively as well. For example, if my mother and I have an argument, I might sit down with her and talk to her calmly about it. I might say, "I understand why you're upset with me but I'm upset with you too. I felt _____ when you _____." It depends on the context.